Sunday, March 27, 2011

nearly there

a warm spring day until
a rainstorm
came out of nowhere
hammered its raindrops down
like iron nails splattering
on my face
as if they're strong
enough to dint my bike.

i turn the corner
skidding slightly
water spins from my wheels
the odor of wet asphalt
and vegetation fills my nostrils
sodden shirt clings to my limbs
as I fight to keep out
of the drainage ditch.

clench my hands
around the handlebars
a brown UPS truck
hurtles toward me
not seeing me
not seeing me
(how can it not see me)
i swerve off the road
splash into the ditch
feel a rush of air as the trunk passes
centimeters away.

the drainage ditch licks at my knees
sucking wetly
i wrench my bike out of a mire
of gum wrappers and coke cans
wipe the rain beads from my eyelashes
heave my bike back onto the road
at the end of the lane I can see my house
red bricks blurred by sheets of rain
'i'm nearly there'
i force myself on
nearly there
nearly there...


  1. this is so beautiful,
    love your words, stunning imagery.



  2. "the drainage ditch licks at my knees
    sucking wetly"
    eww and wow!

  3. Very eloquent writing. I love how you made it come alive.

  4. whew----close call! Nice write!

  5. Great expression to tell a great story! Enjoyed the read!

  6. This is gorgeous and seemingly effortless.
    My Blog

  7. Elegant and effortless. A cut above.

    Love your "About" as well.

    Poem on. Delighted that you have joined us at Potluck.

  8. well done!great writing here!thank you for sharing!

  9. Gripping tale, great descriptions, at a guess from personal experience.

  10. Riveting! My heart is pounding. As a mother, this is always a worry! Very well written...on my seat the whole read! Glad you're okay! Love the slimy visuals!

    Hugs Giggles

  11. a nice poem abi- thanks for sharing.. my potluck-

  12. Good write! I was taken along on that ride....I loved the sensory prompts about the smell of the vegetation and how the rain felt...I remember being in a ditch much like that myself :) Very immediate and powerful language.

  13. What a bike ride..your use of repetition in 'not seeing me' and 'nearly there' worked perfectly and made us feel the effort and distress that this journey created...great piece..Jae

  14. I liked the story that was woven into it.

  15. Stunning piece, explosive imagery... Beauty found within a rainy night.

  16. Very well told story - quite gripping. I can sympathise with the biker. I was shunted from behind by a nurse in her car, ended up in a deep ditch with two broken ribs. I made it home, 5 miles, in the saddle - OUCH!

  17. On the road towards home thy heart always tells 'Nearly there,nearly there':)Lovely!

  18. Wow -- I can see you in this place.

  19. Good poem/short story! I really liked the last lines.

  20. Jingle-thank you for inviting me to the potluck!

    Evelyn-thanks for the visit. Yes, 'ew' indeed.

    Lisa- thanks for visiting again!

    Kathe W. - indeed it was! thanks for visiting!

    abthomas - glad you enjoyed it!

    Catherine - thank you so much!

    JamieDedes - thank you! I've always thought of reading as 'flying on paper wings'.

    lunawitch15-thank you for visiting!

    oldegg- thank you! It was not a personal experience, but I've had some that came close.

    Giggles- Thank you! It was not a personal experience, but I've come inches away from similar ones.

    fiveloaf- thank you- hope you enjoyed your visit!

    Cynthia- thank you! :)

    jaerose- yes! I'm so glad that the repetition worked!

    mingsinger- thank you, and thanks for visiting!

    Misty Kasumi*- thank you! I thought a poem was the best way to present it!

    Reflections- thank you very much- I love rainy nights, especially when I'm inside looking out at them!

    Old Altonian- This was not a personal experience- yours sounds quite painful!!

    Raksha Bhat- quite poetic- thank you!

    lizbethsgarden-thank you for the visit!

    Shena Tokala- yes, I wanted to show how focused the main character was on getting safely home.

    Thank you all for your wonderful comments!